A post came across my Threads feed today about "avoidant discard", the first time I had heard this term. And it described in great detail how my marriage ended and why it was having such a traumatic impact on me. It resonated with me in a way that nothing else has since this all started. The lack of closure, the vague explanations, the abruptness of it all, the hidden struggles with no interest in working on them, the decision to breakup that happened before I even knew anything was wrong, the prolonged state of stress due to unanswered questions that created a feedback loop, the things I became aware of about our relationship after-the-fact, etc. The thread ended with a sentence stating that "this can make it much harder and take longer to move on."
Looking into it further, it appears most common with people whose attachment style is fearful avoidant. But if my ex truly is a fearful avoidant, how did our relationship last as long as it did?
Here's a YouTube video that really resonates with me.
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