Social Media makes it possible to see what an ex is up to which is not really a positive thing. I unfollowed my ex-husband on Instagram, the only social media he uses. And I had told my family that is what I did so they wouldn't give me updates if they chose to continue following him. But his account is public and so it requires my own willpower to not go look for his account. I don't know what made me look tonight when I was in my own good mood get ready for my own travel but I did.
He's out in Las Vegas and exploring the Grand Canyon. And it hit me hard. We did so much travel together. We were great travel partners, or at least I thought we were. We had so many travel plans booked when he decided to walk away so this year has been the year of crumbling plans I had so looked forward to and then scrambling to rethink my time off in a way that I could afford and wanted to do now.
My sister responded to my text stating the Grand Canyon is "overrated" which made me laugh. When I called my parents, my dad pointed out that love of travel was a gift I gave him. He really didn't travel much before me. I don't know how much he would have done if I hadn't encouraged us. I'm not sure he ever would have left his corner of his home state. So maybe that is a gift I gave him.
I don't even know what truly bothers me most about it. Maybe the fact that I enjoyed traveling together with him and so I wish I were there (although I don't really given the year I had). Or maybe because it seems like he is walking away from this marriage without any consequences. It just really sucks feeling like the consequences of his decision are resting heavily on me. And part of me wants him to sit still long enough to actually reflect on what he did, although he probably isn't capable of that.
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