So with hours in the car today, I replayed in my head what I had read from my online journal. I'm especially stuck on the fact that I knew he couldn't give our relationship the same energy I could. It's really easy to jump to should statements about how shouldn't have married me if he wasn't all in and about how I shouldn't have married him if I knew he couldn't reciprocate with the same energy. But it's not productive.
Let's say, we could go back and undo this marriage. Where would that leave me? Who would I even be?
The people who walk through our lives leave marks on us, some big marks, some smaller marks. They influence. They expose to ideas and experiences. They lead us down paths we never would have considered taking. They show us parts of ourselves that we didn't know existed.
So to contemplate what either one of us should have done 20 years ago completely ignores the effect we each had on each other's lives because of the decisions we did make.
No comments:
Post a Comment