Comparisons

I know I shouldn't but I still sometimes compare myself to my ex-husband.  As I waited in my air conditioned apartment as two men loaded a truck with all my stuff, I remembered the Penske truck I saw parked outside of his apartment a few months back that I fully expect he and his girlfriend loaded themselves.  I guess at least he had help this time.  Last time he moved completely on his own while I had a friend help me get my stuff out of our shared apartment.

And then I was reminded of a passing comment I heard from someone that he was barely in contact with the one local friend he had before the divorce started.  There has been no evidence he made any other friends to replace that one until he met his next girlfriend.  I have built a huge community in Birmingham and am ready to build another in Atlanta.

And I think back to the Instagram post I saw last fall (back when I still occasionally checked his account) where he mentioned taking his date to Olive Garden while I was taking myself out three course meals at nice local restaurants.

He moved into someone else's home.  I upgraded to a larger place of my own in a whole new city.

I'm sure he is just repeating the same exact patterns with a different person.  I have found peace, growth, and joy and am barely recognizable from the person I was in that marriage.

I know I need to just focus on my own journey.  We all have our own paths.  Maybe this is meant to be a reminder that our paths needed to diverge so that I could find myself here in this moment with a bright future ahead of me.  I didn't get left behind.  I got freed to travel my own path.

I slept almost ten hours last night, waking up only once to use the bathroom.  It already feels like home despite the fact that I only moved in yesterday and still have plenty to unpack.  I think this next chapter is going to be pretty great.