Vulnerability

Two years ago today, I made a decision to share my struggles with my Facebook friends.  I remember sitting on my therapy bench, going through my friend list first and removing my ex-husband's brother (the only one left from his side), and then taking a deep breath before I composed what was a really vulnerable post.

Although, I had shared the news of the separation with a couple of people really close to me, I feel like this marked the beginning of my healing out loud which I think was one of the healthiest choices I made.  

Facebook reminds me of this post each year.  I wrote about my reaction to it last year in this post.  I appreciate being able to read the words from that moment, read my reaction to it after a year of healing, and now today being able to experience my reaction to it after two years of healing.  

In that moment two years ago, I was in the middle of my church's sermon series about meltdowns which perfectly described how I perceived my life.  Last year, I was in awe of my strength.  This year, I see how my vulnerability led to deeper connections and deeper conversations that helped me grow in unimaginable ways.   Yet with each evolution, tears still form in my eyes.

I have come so, so far.

I bought flowers at the grocery store yesterday, a bouquet that includes daisies, my favorite flower.  As I reflect on this all, my gaze keeps being drawn to them in the vase where I set them on the end table next to me.  They are perfect for a celebration of how far I've come.